Jealousy is a very natural and normal emotional state in young children when there are more babies for the first time in the house. Because they often think that parents are their own and do not want to share their care and love with others. So how should young parents deal with this case?
In order not to get jealous, prepare yourselves to “pick you up”
3 – 4 months before birth, tell your baby sincerely and frankly about the upcoming appearance of another baby in the house. This is the best time because the baby can recognize changes: the womb is big enough to hold a baby in it, the baby is kicking and moving in the womb. Don’t talk earlier because your baby may forget this big event.
In parallel with the notification, you should help your child visualize the changes that can occur when the baby is born, the effects of that change on them (both positive and negative).
Encourage your child to ask lots of questions about her and to tell her how she feels. Regularly reassure children that nothing can affect the love of parents for their children.
Maintain a routine
Try not to make a child’s life change when you have a baby. If possible, practice going to the toilet and sending your child to daycare before the birth of your baby to limit her jealousy.
Explain what will happen
2 weeks before birth, you prepare your baby in advance for the upcoming absence of the mother. Clearly “discuss” with your child about things to come because even though you may only be in the hospital for 1-2 days, he will still be very sad and miss his mother.
If you are planning to invite a relative, relative, or maid to take care of your baby when you give birth, it’s best to pick them up to stay with your family 1, 2 weeks in advance. If possible, send your child to the hospital after the second baby is born, so that he/she will feel like he is also an important part of a “big family” from this sacred moment.
Take care and spend time with children
Try not to let the baby occupy your time. Take time to cuddle and care about your child. Try to maintain the habit of playing, or reading stories to children like before.
Involve your child in taking care of the baby
Ask him to bring a towel for him, “push the car” for him to walk (of course you are still the main driver). If your child wants to hold him or her, try to let him do it. You can let your child sit on a chair, put a pillow on the side, and then put him on his lap. Be careful to make sure nothing is dangerous. Through these care tasks, your baby will love you more and be less jealous of you.
Accept the child’s jealous attitude or regressive behavior
Accept the same behaviors as your baby but always assert that your child is older, smarter, and better than the baby such as: how to behave, wear clothes, and know-how to sing … Tell the child, babies often cry and keep demanding the same food as babies at birth. Growing up, babies will probably cry less and obedient as children now.
Willing to accept the disruptive attitude
At first, the child may be eager to accept the baby, but a few weeks later he may think that the baby is taking his mother and starting to become harassment. You need to be patient and understand the psychology of the child. Tell them that they are getting more things than babies because they know how to help their mother, and are trying to care for their babies to grow quickly to play with them.
Handling when your baby hits you
Do not be surprised if your older child envy or hits or throws something at you. If they are old enough, they will do this “more subtly” by pretending it was an “accident”.
This is normal behavior and not difficult to recognize. Please stop step by step. When you and your baby are alone, encourage your child to express angry, jealous feelings. It does not mean that the child is spoiled but because of those feelings, hitting him is not acceptable.
When your baby hits you, you should not mock or butt her, so she will “revenge” when she is not present. The best way, say right away: “You do it is bad. The baby won’t hit me, and I’m bigger than me. ” Give your baby time to think about their actions.
Because the baby can not accept the teachings of the mother right away, it is best for a few weeks after that you should be “wary”, keep an eye on the small child, remove all sharp, heavy objects to prevent the older child from hitting him. Try not to show this precaution to your older child, to prevent him or her from thinking that they are not trusted by their parents.
Assign tasks to both
Look for opportunities to make two children “work together” to accomplish a work goal. For example, ask your children to put toys in a basket together, help each other prepare clothes to go to the park.
When your children play together, make sure that the game is not competitive, for example, let them play “cooking rice”, play “pho”, play medical games, or play as a teacher. These times playing together will help children grow less jealous of children
Isolate when necessary
There will be periods when the children play well, but it comes to a time when the dog is stuck all day. At that “chaotic” time, separating the children is a useful measure. That’s why you need to add to your dad’s “father’s day” and “mother’s day” children. On these special days, the older one will play separately with his father while the younger will play with his mother or vice versa.
By doing all of the above, my mother will greatly reduce my jealousy for you!